A Lifeline!

Hannah and I played hide-n-seek earlier today. Took her forever to find me, but it got me thinking about other good hiding spots in our house. We have a really large master bedroom closet - so big, in fact, that it could become a bedroom. Could even fit a twin bed, maybe two, length-wise. It doesn't have a lock on the door, but the backed-up laundry (that I'm just clamoring to catch up on) just might make the perfect barricade! Yes! The perfect hideaway when 3am rolls around and all three kids are up for a late-night party! Woohoo! Aren't you jealous?!

We've had one heck of a week and you're about to get the dish, with lots of pictures to go along with it.

Let's see... where did I leave you last? Oh, that's right. MRI. Well, that didn't happen like we expected. I was getting just enough sleep to barely function - a problem when you're mommy! - and by Thursday I was running on exhaust fumes. Cohen still wouldn't eat except to nurse, and for some reason that wasn't working out so well anymore, either. His 4-hour-long screamfests were becoming a regular nightly occurrence and I was feeling very inadequate as a mother. I couldn't make him happy and I was frustrated, sad, and desperate for some help.

His pediatrician agreed to see him on Thursday morning and told me to bring in a bottle. And surprise! She could not get him to eat, either. In addition, he hadn't gained weight in over a month. This was not good news. We went to the GI doc the next day, where we discovered that Cohen had lost a half a pound overnight! The GI doc came up with a fantastic plan: send us home with some supplemental formula and reflux medication. I began to cry like an idiot. Please understand: I was so tired I dreaded another sleepless night. I was even so tired that on the way to this appointment I drove right past the doctor's office and had to flip a u-ey. Then I took the elevator up to the wrong floor. I even lost my parking ticket in my rush.

In spite of all this drama, I tried to make some sense as I pointed out to him why sending us home with solutions we must administer BY MOUTH would not work. Hello?! And I didn't even go to med school!

Oh, right, he says.

To the hospital you go.

So, we go across the street to the children's hospital where they insert a feeding tube in Cohen's nose and stick an IV in his little foot. I paced the floor while they did this and he screamed like a madman. Took three nurses to hold my little guy still! I tried really hard not to start balling - again!

Fueling the Tank:

Nutrition on Tap!


And watch out!

The deadly weapon-- er, IV -- in his foot. Seriously!
Proceed with caution: handle at your own risk! :)


Two little monkeys...So cute, right?

And aaahhhh...
...sleepy at last!

So we stayed in the hospital from Friday to Sunday. During this time Cohen got some necessary nutrition while his mommy lost some weight! Ha! I thought hospital food gripe was just hype. Guess I was really just spoiled by our last hospital. No joke: this hospital wasted no money on actually adding flavor to the food. Guess they consider that a luxury? And every meal contained a crusty wheat roll. And to drink? Coffee (which I don't like) and iced tea (which I don't like). And always, always, there was sticky coffee all over the utensils from the hot liquid sloshing over the side of the poorly capped cup en route!!! But I couldn't complain. Oh no! This was charity people! After all, I'm only "mom," not patient and completely at their mercy! :)

I took a quick picture of the tasty cuisine. Doesn't look that bad, you say? Well, looks can be deceiving.

There was unidentified fluid floating on my ham, cardboard filler in the strawberry shortcake, limp leaves in my salad and that yellow stuff? They called it "corn souffle" - I kid you not. More like cotton souffle!

But back to my story... Cohen had a rough night Friday. He screamed for hours like he did at home. I was desperate for relief. I thought the hospital could help him but I was told there was nothing more they could do. I was thinking tylenol or pain meds or sleep meds or... but NO! I was wound tight and still sick with allergies, and those two things combined triggered an asthma attack - while my baby was screaming his head off in my arms! The nurse made a gracious appearance and told me she knew what it was like to be tired. She has kids and works full time. I bit my tongue before I said anything inappropriate.

Room with a view.

Of the parking garage.
Lovely!

Saturday morning? Off to MRI. They sedated him, then sent me roaming through the hospital ON MY OWN, hunting for the pediatric surgery waiting room on a completely different floor. I was afraid I wouldn't be able to find it, or that I'd end up in the wrong room and they wouldn't be able to find me if there was an emergency, or when they needed to take me to his side in recovery.

At this point, I really wanted someone to talk to, but I realized I did not have my cell phone. Craig accidentally took off with it. A simple mistake, I know, but still! That was my only lifeline to the outside world! My link to normalcy! As I sat in what I hoped was the right waiting room, I was alone and worried, with nothing but the depressing news channel and some uninteresting magazines to distract me.

But guess what? The best news EVER came out of that wait!

We learned that Cohen's MRI was normal! No damage; no insult to the brain. NORMAL!! YAY! PRAISE GOD!

So now, here we are, at home and plugged in to a lifeline - a 20 HOUR a day drip straight down to the belly, with only a 4 hour break each day. We're still waiting to find out why he won't eat well, but he has a swallow study on Monday. Meanwhile, we have nurses stopping by three times a week (and I love these nurses - they are awesome, friendly and surprisingly helpful!), and Craig's mom flew in from out of state for some extra physical - and moral - support.

Plugged in.

But nothing can hold him down! ;)

My two guys together on a 4 hour break...

Daddy's tired, but relieved!

Oh, and I can't leave out my other two kiddos cuz they kept us busy too. It's true what they say: when it rains, it pours!

Jenna got sick over the weekend while we were at the hospital and it really bugged me that I couldn't be there for her. When I got home, she looked like this:

Yeah, I know. She looks sooo miserable, doesn't she? But, alas, it was nothing some eye drops and antibiotics couldn't cure. Thankfully, she was feeling better in no time and was able to return to school on Thursday.

And Hannah? Turns out she was struggling a bit, too. On Wednesday she was busy playing when suddenly she stopped and looked at me with big, blue, puppy dog eyes.

"Mommy," she said. "I'm having a bad day." Her mouth drooped in the corners as she lowered her chin to her chest and stared at the ground. I thought she was going to cry.

My heart melted. I thought, maybe she's attention-deprived, so I came up with an idea. Girls night out! We would get out of the house together, just the two of us (if Jenna actually wanted to go, I would have taken her too). First, we would go get my cell phone charger cuz I left it at the hospital - hey, I know what you're thinking, but we actually had a nice time doing this! - and then, we would get something to eat.

Before long, we were off!

I love parking on the top level of parking garages - usually barely anyone up there - so I pulled into a space on the fifth level just as the sun was setting behind the blanket of trees surrounding us. It was a nice evening; a little cool, but not cold. Not cloudy, either. I took Hannah over to the edge of the concrete monstrosity and showed her the lights and buildings out in the distance. For some reason it felt so peaceful up there (I know, I know. I SERIOUSLY need a vacation!!!) :) After a deep sigh and a moment of silence, we headed inside.

At the nurses' station we wait as a nurse - I'm not kidding - pulls out a mass of about 30 tangled chargers from a drawer! Unfortunately, none of them were mine; fortunately, though, there's more! They're coming out of the woodwork and after a short search, we eventually find the right one. Have you ever stayed in a hospital? If so, did you leave your cell phone charger there? Seems like I'm not the only one, but one of MANY, to do so. It was pretty funny, so we all had a few laughs. Laughter is great medicine! And sweet relief! :)

As we walked out of the hospital, I experienced a tidal wave of several different emotions. I missed people back home: family, friends... The previous few days finally began to sink in. I mean, you go along not really thinking about what's happening much and then BAM! The thoughts rush in at once. I thought I was okay, thought that it wasn't that different being here in a new place, but in reality, it was really lonely in that hospital room with just me and Cohen and a million concerns raging through my head. No breaks, no trips to the cafeteria with a visitor I could vent with! We did have a visitor who brought comfort food, though, which was great considering I was STARVING - HA! :) Back home someone would have relieved Craig by watching the girls so he could come visit me. Maybe I just need to learn to ask for help... I don't know. Jenna's hospitalization was difficult; Cohen's pushed us even harder. I wanted to cry, but I caught myself, swallowed the lump in my throat, and smiled. The tiny hand holding tightly onto mine reminded me that I was not the only person going through this! It was a rough time for all of us.

After the hospital, it was Chuck-E-Cheese time! Pizza and games - YAY! It was late by now and there weren't very many people there; in fact, we sorta closed the place but I liked it that way. At first, I thought it was a bust - my heart fell as Hannah cried and ran from the dancing animals. This didn't last very long, however. After a while she warmed up and seemed to enjoy it all. We won tickets, picked out prizes, and she was so proud of herself! I must admit, I was proud of myself too - I even gave myself mommy kudos for intuiting her needs and giving her the attention she wanted! But it turns out I wasn't as intuitive as I thought (You saw this coming, didn't you?)

The next day Hannah was not quite herself, and by the end of the day she was obviously dragging. I sat with her as I tried to figure out what was wrong. It didn't take long. She sighed and leaned into my arms. "Mommy, I wish this was ober," she said, then buried her head in my chest.

A few seconds later she threw up. And kept throwing up.

This really happened.

I kid you not.

Happily, we are all doing much better now, and hopefully it won't take me so long to post again! I probably made so many errors writing this, and if so, I apologize. Guess I shouldn't try this when tired, although, in my defense, if I had waited until I wasn't tired it would have been days before I posted and then I would have forgotten some stuff. Oh well.