Two-in-One

I gave Cohen his Neupogen injection for the very first time yesterday. I did a great job! Yay me! Not only did I manage to poke him for the injection, I somehow managed to poke him again!

That's right. Two holes in one.

Something tells me Cohen wasn't as thrilled with this...

:(

Ms. Nurse Practitioner tried to make me feel better and told me I did a great job. My son told me (in that frantic baby-scream way) that I sucked. Oh, well. There's always next time. And the time after that. And...

I got a three week supply chillin in the fridge. Wish me luck!

To the Bogeyman: BOO!

I had a very bad dream this morning. It had to do with Cohen and it scared the living daylights out of me. I can't shake the mood it put me in - I wish I could snap out of it already. I've had a similar thing happen before when I dreamed about Jenna. Why do fears always pop up when you're asleep and can't fend them off?

I've been okay up until now. Searching for answers has kept us busy and the severity of this stuff hasn't really sunk in. Until now, maybe.

It seems Cohen can no longer maintain his own neutrophil levels. The hematologist has been monitoring the patterns and Cohen's bone marrow responds to the Neupogen shots for maybe 48 hours or so and then his neutrophils slowly wane until he is right back to being Neutropenic.

When we went in yesterday, the first thing the doctor said was, "So we avoided admittance? Good, good..." There is no doubt in my mind (and apparently in the docs, too) that the hospital is exactly where Cohen was headed until we gave him the Neupogen injection last Wed., which avoided yet another admittance and excruciating IV meds that make him vomit by the third or fourth day.

Then the doc said "please don't tell me he's had fever..." Apparently, fever indicates something very bad because illness obviously does not mean the same thing for our little guy as it does for the rest of our family. Great, now I'm checking his forehead for the slightest indication...

Finally, we checked his levels, which indicated that his neutrophils were on their way down again since the injection last Wed. So now we are on a maintenance plan; every week he gets the stick. Even better, every week I get to give it to him. Now I know there are people out there who do this all the time with their children - for whatever health reason - and it doesn't really bother me too much. What is agonizing, however, is that we are now waiting until we see the Genetic Specialist again on July 1 to do the bone marrow biopsy, which is definitely happening now, and for obvious reasons. We're trying to move that appointment up.

To be honest, I'm scared. My dream didn't help matters. I just love him so much, and sometimes, when I look at him and he flashes his sweet smile, I feel like something is breaking deep inside me. Oops, I'm getting too emotional... moving on...

Good news: I've learned a new skill that should save us some money - I'm now a beautician. That's right. Hannah wanted her hair cut. "It's too long," she said. "Are you sure?" I'd been thinking the same thing- she was now actually able to sit on it.

"Yes, mommy, will you cut it for me?"

So guess what? I did.

And I think it came out pretty good myself.

This is Hannah's idea of acting natural. She's ready for the beach this summer with what she calls her "Beach Hat." Of course, you can't see that much of my haircut, but trust me, I did a great job ;)

Another customer of mine who's due for his next trim, although Daddy thought he'd have some fun and try a new hairstyle...

Punk Baby.

A closeup of the faux hawk:

A few more pictures:
Cohen is really enjoying his baths lately. We discovered he likes them best in the sink. I love his goofy smile...

Hannah "reads" to her pupils, her babies...
...and has even begun to teach them about Time Outs (Wonder where she gets that from? She sounds suspiciously similar to another mommy in the house)
A makeshift clubhouse - girls only:

And finally - a package at the door! YAY for presents. This one's from Grandma and Papa and happened to come in the middle of some serious lipgloss application... purple is the new pink if you didn't know... :) Goes great with red hair.


And no, that is not a crooked haircut - her head is leaning. I really did do a good job. Really. :)
I guess I don't have much funny in me today, so the comments are fallin' a bit flat. Oh, well. At least you had pictures to go along with it!

Hope you are all doing well. I sure miss my friends and family right now.

I Do! Still.

My husband and I have finally been married long enough for my wedding dress to be seriously out of fashion!

May 2, 1998. Wedding day. Overcast. Rainy. Honestly, I was in a bit of disbelief. As in, am I really getting married today? I was twenty years old and naive, but here I am ten years later, writing about it.

To stay married for a long time means you probably had a perfect wedding, right?

Ha, ha -- WRONG!

The night before our wedding, I drove an hour away to pick up a wedding ring for Craig. He was actually going to borrow a friend's for the ceremony. We got back late and I still hadn't finished the vows someone - uhum - decided we should write ourselves. So there I was, typing away at my friend's computer by the white light of a desk lamp until the wee hours of the morning when I was supposed to look fresh and beautiful the next day.

Morning came much too quickly. And of course, the morning sickness was waiting to greet me as I blinked against the gray morning light. My friend's mom did my hair in the bathroom as I studied my vows and my bridesmaids clamored around getting ready. The photographer came and we weren't ready for her. Of course the guys were, though.

As we were getting ready, my friend's mom tells me about something borrowed, something blue... I was clueless. Thank goodness my wedding was blue (my garter too!) and she gave me an angel pin to secure to my...well... under the bodice of my dress. And my dress! Did I mention morning sickness already? Well, some swelling goes along with that, too... and the fact that you size those things weeks, sometimes months, in advance does not help in situations like mine. The seamstress at the gown shop already added extra panels in the sides (gasp!).

My dad arrived in my little Honda Civic and I stuffed myself (yeah, a two door car is not a good idea when you're in a wedding dress) into the front seat with white silk poofing up around me. I felt like I was Marilyn Monroe without the street grate.

*

We were, well, significantly late to the wedding ceremony. :)

*

As they were seating the guests, someone told the groomesmen to seat all of Craig's family on one side and mine on the other - they took that to mean all of Craig's guests, too. Craig was military; he was in a foreign town. Good thing we weren't on a boat.

*

The ceremony itself was beautiful, except when the pastor slipped and said Sherry and Greg (my brother's name) and everyone chuckled. I read my vows - shameful! - while Craig had his memorized. Whose idea was this vow thing again? ;)

Then there's the reception. By this time, I was so weak my Grandma had to bring me half a sandwich, which I gobbled quickly. Guess the kid wanted to eat or something...

*

We had a potluck reception because we were young and on a very tight budget. The mix of food was very interesting. I had meatballs floating on a turkey sandwich because someone went to get our food for us and piled it high. I think I remember pistachio pudding on there somewhere, which I normally love because my aunt always makes it, but it doesn't really go well with spaghetti and potato salad and jello.

Then, there was the special dance. You know, the wedding dance where you get emotional - or physical, I guess, depending on the couple! Admittedly, I got the song wrong and Craig still won't let me live it down. I had the DJ play Truly, Madly, Deeply by Savage Garden. That's not our song, Craig said later. He used to sing another song to me all the time while we were dating: KC and Jojo's All My Life. You are the only one, my everything...

Oops. Sorry Craig (again!) :)

After the reception, Craig and I drove off into the sunset. Well, not really. But we did go to a hotel up at the local casino, where we had plans to get a nice dinner (we were so nervous we didn't eat at the reception. Well that and there was that other reason I mentioned...) until we realized Craig forgot to pack a change of clothes.

So we ordered pizza. Delivery. And the rest of the night went according to plans... ;)

Our honeymoon really began a few weeks later, when we embarked on an adventure to catch a free flight (courtesy of the Military) to Oahu, where we would then continue on to Kauai. We waited and hoped for three nights. So the first night of our honeymoon did not take place on the beautiful island next to the sea, but in the hotel on base, where the only room left had twin beds that we discovered (when we tried to move them) were actually bolted to the wall.

When we finally caught our flight out (at 3am), I got to ride in the upper half of a C-5 Cargo plane - a huge airborne beast. Very cool.

There's so much more I could say about this honeymoon, about how beautiful the island was and how family members who lived there gave me my very first mother's day card, but this post is getting so long already...

Craig, I am so proud of us. We have stuck out our marriage and it has not been easy. We've been through children with medical issues, sleep deprivation, financial despair, but through it all, we hung in there and here we are now, doing what we never thought we could do.

We're living life - together - with our three beautiful children ten years after our chaotic, but wonderfully unforgettable, wedding day!

HAPPY DECADE, CRAIG!!! LOVE YOU.