A Super Future...

Ssshhhhh! The secret's not out yet, but-

Our boy has big things in store for his future.

Very, very big things.

Croaky and Cranky

So I almost died last night.

Well, not really... but I got your attention, right?! :) Seriously, though. I felt like I was gonna die, or at least faint and I wonder if that feels like dying...

I feel I must prepare you. This is one of those poor me posts that will cause you to roll your eyes and think, get over it, already! So, if you're not feeling particularly sympathetic right now, well then I recommend a good venting post for you too! Oh, and you might as well stop right here...

Okay, now that I have one person still with me... :)

Every night for the past week I've hacked and coughed and coughed and hacked and... well, you get the idea. I think of it as my very own "Fur-Ball Curse." Yeah, that's right. Mine! It must only happen to me. What I really mean is PITY ME, people! Haha.

Must be allergies. Or asthma. Or both. Or some crazy mutiny going on in my bronchioles. Last night was so bad Craig nearly ran me out of the house - to the ER. I started having an asthma attack, but of course, I was not the only one having issues. Cohen and I formed our own duet and nearly brought down the house :) with his hair-raising treble and my raspy, barely-breathing bass!

Why is it that when you're a mommy, you can't just be sick by yourself? Why is it that somebody else has to have something wrong with him (or her), too?

It's not fair! WWAAAAHHHH!

I would have loved a soothing back massage, or some hot chicken noodle soup (if I could get it down, anyways), but no! No, no, no! Mr. Cohen had to have daddy's attention all to himself. Yeah, so okay. He was really hungry and I'm not exactly a fountain of milk anymore, or so we think. And he won't take a bottle, STILL, which has led to bouts of incessant screaming that persist from 10pm till about 2 in the morning. Poor guy! His pediatrician says I might need to get medicine to make my milk stick around. Yep, need to schedule that appointment. Tomorrow. But right now I feel helpless and tired and very, very frustrated! I miss being able to comfort him with my seemingly endless supply of milk.

I would have loved, loved, LOVED to sleep in today, but we were up at the crack of dawn and out the door by 8am, on our way to an ophthalmology appointment for Cohen. A THREE HOUR LONG adventure - YAY for us! At least Craig kept Jenna and Hannah at home. There was no way I could handle Miss Thang (x 2) for that long in a controlled environment! I was also not in the best of moods, I'll admit. My mommy empathy (and patience) was not really kickin' in like it normally does - darn that poor me syndrome! Boy was I lookin' glam in my workout pants (who am I kidding?) and t-shirt with my hair pulled back and big ol' bags under my eyes.

At least we learned some much-needed info at the doctor's office (and by the way, this doctor is really good, so that helped the fact that half my day was sucked away by this appointment). The doctor confirmed what we've suspected - Cohen has Nystagmus. He ordered a full MRI because Nystagmus has to do with brain abnormality (I'm trying not to look into this too much yet - no reason to panic or dwell). We also discovered that Cohen is farsighted. This means that his eyes have not caught up to his developmental age/level. So guess what? Our little six month old guy will be sporting snazzy glasses soon. We're going to try them on tomorrow, so I will post a picture. I heard they're not very aesthetically pleasing, but functional. That's okay - for now. We can get cool ones later, right? Doc also mentioned surgeries, but he added that the glasses might correct the issues enough to avoid that. We shall see. And hope. And pray! (Of course)

The fun didn't stop there! Jenna had a GI appointment at 3 (that's the digestion doc!). I think I remember everything he said, but I was seriously dragging by then! He referred Jenna for a modified barium swallow study. That will happen next Thursday at noon, and - oh-the-fun! - Jenna cannot eat for six hours beforehand. Try explaining that to a child who lives in a me-me-me world right now! In addition to the swallow study, he also referred her to the same developmental specialist who saw Cohen. This city sure has a tight-knit network of doctors, considering how big it is! The developmental specialist does behavioral and outpatient therapy. HOORAY! More therapy! :) But, oh yeah...MORE appointments :(

So basically, I took the kids to two appointments today and walked away with... let's see... SIX MORE, including the follow-ups! I feel like one of those cartoon characters whose heads spin and spin and spin until they pop their lid and steam comes out! Or like the classic cartoon goofs who run off the edge of the cliff cuz someone is on their tail and then hang in mid-air, their legs a circular blur as they run-run-run, until they look down and - oops! - they realize there's nothing beneath them and they stop. Well in cartoonland, this means gravity will magically reinstate itself, and SPLAT!!! The point? As long as I keep going, I'm okay. I'm afraid to stop and think about it all because when I stop to think about things, I start to plummet. And, well, no SPLAT yet, but hopefully, if that day ever comes, I'll morph back into myself again like they do! ;)

Not that I want to WHINE even more, but, well...I counted the number of health-related appointments we have had over the past two months on my calendar and came up with a whopping 18!!! Not including Jenna's hospital stay. When will the madness stop?! That's 18 co-pays. Not to mention prescription co-pays. And if I have to wait for over an hour in one more doctor's office I'll scream! Oh, that's right... how many did I say we had coming up?! :/ Well, I'm going to stop thinking about it. Now. Right now.

And shamefully go watch tonight's episode of American Idol on my DVR. Right after I get the kids ready for bed. Yep, and feed Cohen. And darnit, my curse is coming on in full-force :( *sigh*

*cough, cough*

Think of me fondly when your head hits your pillow... wishing you all the blissful hours of sleep you can possibly get! Enjoy them for me, too!

A girl's gotta vent once in a while! Right?! Ummm, right?

Hello?!

Our New Baby!

So, we did it.

We had to!

You can only drive around in a car like ours for SO LONG before ya have to go and get another one. At least that's what we're telling ourselves. ;)

To give you an idea of what we were dealing with, our older car had many unwelcome features that developed over the past few years. I tried to joke about it, but, well... it was gettin' pretty bad. From a driver's perspective, it was oh-so-much-fun to drive this thing. First of all, we could no longer roll down our driver's side window, so when we pulled up to the keypad at the entrance to our housing community (where people are driving cars that put ours to shame), we had to open up the door to punch in the code. That wasn't so bad until we could no longer shut the door all the way as we drove through the gates - the door panel was pulling away from the metal so you could no longer close it by the handle. Pulled some muscles trying that trick, let me tell you! Digging your fingertips into the small space between the rolled up window and the top of the door was no small feat! Next to impossible...

And if you were a passenger? Well, you were in for a ride, and not a comfortable one, either! Suppose you wanted to roll down your window to get some air - well, you would be out of luck. I could do it for you from the driver's side, but you would have to ask me and then I would have to grin with embarrassment and go into my spiel about how my car is dying a slow death... Then you might realize that you are practically lying down in the seat - ghetto style! - and would ask me where the handle is to raise the seat back. Well, there isn't one, folks. It broke off in my hands as I tried to sit up after a mid-travel snooze. And the crackling sound you hear? A blown speaker - at least that's on your side! I can listen to all the tunes I want as long as I'm willing to keep the volume low and lean to the left to hear it out of the one good speaker remaining! And hoisting Hannah into the middle car seat wouldn't have been so bad (despite the strained back), if Jenna wasn't so darn intent on tickling her constantly and laughing as she's screaming her head off. Hmmm... what else? Oh yes, there's more. The air went out, the oil leaks, the windshield's cracked, and there are some curious noises coming from under the hood... need I say more? Are you getting the idea?

Times called for desperate measures...

Meet the new member of our family!

Black Beauty and the infamous BEAST!

More views of the outside...

Ain't it pretty? :)
That's a Mazda CX-9
3.5 liter DOHC V6 with 265 horsepower

To gain entrance, I get one of those oh-so-sophisticated transformer flip-keys (for all of you who already have one, since they've been out for like, how many years now? bear with me - this is EXCITING for us!)

And once inside, everything is at your fingertips...


GET THIS: window controls that actually roll the driver's side window down!
Yes, that's plastic people! Our very first BRAND NEW car together since we've been married.

VROOM, VROOM, VROOM...

...with a six-disc cd changer and an automatic-to-manual mode option for more get-up-and-go! Also, three-zone air conditioning, so everybody can be comfortable.

YAY for electronic dashes with lots and lots of info - still don't know everything it tells us...
...but I do know that it says "Hello" and "Goodbye" when you start up and turn it off.

And HALLELUJAH for third-row segregation!



Come on in...Never fear: if you ride in this and you're an adult, you get dibbs on the second row seats (without even having to call "Shotgun"!). We'll toss the kids in the back cuz they don't need as much leg room, although this car beats its competitors (namely, the Honda Pilot and the Toyota Highlander) not only in overall space, but specifically in third-row seat space :) And yes, I know what you're thinking. You can just SEE the kool-aid stains/cracker pancakes already. But sometime next week those beautiful, light-beige, stain-sensitive seats will be LEATHER! Hooray! (What do ya think, black, gray or tan?)

And guess what else? We're having a DVD player installed. We stressed that this was a NECESSITY, not an option (and those of you who know Jenna will understand what I'm saying!)

See what people are saying about this car at the press link located here.

Like you care, but still... I'm just so darn happy and willing to share! (Stop gagging... haha, but seriously, stop! :) I'm almost done)

I'll admit, when I thought of buying a new car, MAZDA wasn't screaming out to me, but we did our research and it was very affordable for what you get, plus it measures up very well to other cars in its class.

And I'm LOVING it.

Family Fun

We finally lured Grandma away from California and work and onto a jet plane to fly halfway across the US to see us.

Sometimes I think we're happy out here - we're certainly accomplishing the things we set out to do - but then sometimes, when I really stop to think about how things are going, I realize that I miss going to the grocery store or walking down the street with a 90% chance (or better!) that someone will recognize me. But then again, that better happen on a good hair or cute outfit day :) I guess, despite the drawbacks of everybody knowing your business, I'm really still a small-town girl at heart.

So I drove over to Borders the other night to look for some books and ESCAPE the house!! I figured it was nice enough outside, so I rolled down the passenger-side window (cuz the other one won't roll down in my POS car!) and enjoyed the warm evening wind. On my way, I passed the amusement park and saw the bright lights and moving rides. I could imagine the people screaming as they rode the roller-coasters or the ride that amounts to an elevator falling to the ground at a stomach-in-your-throat pace (like in all of those crazy action movies that remind me when I'm in an elevator that I'm suspended on a measly cable system and could fall at any moment - and what good will those little red phones do then, huh?). So what was I saying? Oh yeah, the change from Winter to Spring always calls to mind BBQs and Baseball games, birthday parties and Easter, church and all the people I left in California. Funny how certain times of the year amount to snap shots, holidays and birthdays lined up side by side throughout the years, constantly being compared to the same date or holiday in previous years. Hopefully they always improve, because if they don't, you're left wanting on an occasion that should be fun and exciting. And that's a bummer.

So anyways (sorry for the digression, at least it doesn't happen often - HA!), I really enjoyed having my mom here. Other guests included my aunt and her husband, my cousin and his wife and their two kids. It was a full house - FINALLY! We actually had people stepping over each other in this mini-mansion. It was great having the familiar faces around and I loved being the hostess. I finally got my house in good enough shape - thanks to Craig's list! - to relax about it. I was asked to post pictures, so here ya go...

Still needs a bit of work... but it's coming along. Like the baby decor? :)

Here's that new chest I was talking about. Unconventional, but nice. I love the marble top!

This is one of several art niches in the house. I don't have expensive art work, so I made do. What do ya think? We bought the top picture in New York at Central Park. I really like the graphic effect. Wish I could go back *sigh*

Craig even hung up a candle chandelier that I've had for, like, two years now and never used!
But what you don't know from that picture is that there are supposed to be two...

Hey, what happened up there? :(

Pretty funny, actually. Craig was drilling a hole for the second one and our lights flickered. Of course, this happens RIGHT before I'm supposed to leave to get my mom from the airport (wanted to get the house lookin' spiffy for our guests!). He thinks he hears metal. He's thinking junction box. So, while my Mom is in the air on her way here, my hubby calls up my Dad (electrician) in California who says if you're not sure, cut away! So here's Craig, up on a ladder (oh, good grief!) and cutting a hole *gasp* in the ceiling with AN OLD STEAK KNIFE! As far as I know, my landlord does not know about this blog - ;) "It's cheaper to repair dry wall than pay for an electrician to come over," he says. Well, my guess is that it stays this way until we move and have to fix it... I'll let ya know if I'm wrong and believe me, I wanna be wrong! :)

For now, the thing sits, in my office, still not hung, on my pepto-bismol pink desk, still not refinished :(

But on with the visit...

We all went out to eat and soak up the little bit of Texas sunshine we had over the weekend. The restaurant we ate at was the least crowded, and with 7 adults and 5 kids, we needed quick seating!
Grandma and Hannah, right before she spilled lemonade all over her pants...

One half of the group. Ian with his cool buzzed head. April trying to figure out how to work her own camera (J/K, April!). Mike pouring over the menu and blocking his adorable little Leah so you can't see her in the picture. Hannah sitting away from her parents like a big girl who needs NO help, just before she spilled the lemonade all over her pants.

And the oh-so-cool cow tablecloth.

Now, tell me if you disagree, but there's something strange and unappetizing about eating on a surface meant to look like a cow's hairy back! Yum-Yum! But, I must admit, the food was pretty darn good. As long as you stayed away from this section of the menu...

HAHA. Funny! Rabbit food... Craig ended up eating a salad, too. I forgot to mention that the poor guy got sick the day before my mom came out. Flu... which had already hit Hannah. And have you ever heard of a 6 month old with strep throat? If not, ya have now! Hannah, too... When will we NOT be sick in this family?

Good food, interesting conversation...April still working on getting that picture! ;)

After lunch, everyone went shopping while we went home. Well, you all know how much Jenna loves to shop! And poor Craig with the stomach flu. Mom brought home a gift. Now before I show you, I have to tell you something. When night falls, I'm fanatic about setting the alarm and locking my doors. I always walk quickly by the doors and windows that you can see out (and in). My Mom says she thought she heard someone out there while she was here - thanks mom! So she gets me this gift to taunt me every time I LOOK OUT THE BACK DOOR (not really her purpose, I'm sure, but still...)

Can you see it? Look closer...

Yep, stickin its tongue out. Like "na-na-na-na-na-na." Yeah, HAHA!

They told me Hannah ran for cover when my mom was putting it up. Like mommy, like daughter... :) I must admit, however, it is a funny and cool conversation piece. Like the tree from the Wizard of Oz ("Rainbow" in Jenna-neeze), we tell the girls. They don't buy it. But to Mom: Hannah is liking the tree now. And I like to think I can have a sense of humor about my stupid night-fears now!

Leave it to moms...

But I got her back, though. Well, not me really, but it's fun to take the credit... While she was here it stormed. Big Time. Lightning, like God taking a snapshot; daylight at 1am. Crazy! And thunder - yes, we were forewarned - that shakes not only the house, but the whole block, the entire city... Thought the Earth was gonna open up and gobble us down... And of course, the sun came out the day after Mom left. Go figure!

But seriously, we loved having our company. We loved having Grandma here. The girls were so happy! And I miss having my Mom and Dad around. But there will always be the visits... and the stories we tell afterwards!

Love ya, Mom! :)

The Week That Just Won't End!

We have had one heck of a week. It's almost the weekend and I am so ready for Craig to be off work again!

Jenna has been having issues sleeping lately. We thought it was because we were trying some medicine for her anxiety. Now I'm not so sure that was the cause.

At 2am on Sunday morning Jenna woke up and wanted a movie. Craig put on Scooby-Doo (an old classic!!!) and she fell back asleep. I checked on her at 2:30 after Cohen's feeding. She was still sleeping, so I went back to bed.

At 3:30, Craig's anxious yelling startled me out of sleep. He was hollering for me to come quick, Jenna was having a seizure - "It's a bad one," he said.

I ran into the living room and there she was, convulsing on the couch. I went to get the Valium in case we needed it, and I think we both figured we needed it already. I was so nervous, it took me a minute to locate it. I came back to find Craig stroking Jenna's hair, bending down to her ear to talk to her in a soothing voice in case she could hear him and was scared.

Seizures always look so bad, but this one was especially difficult to watch! Her eyelids, tongue and lips were pulsing to the same beat the rest of her body was - her arms were above her head, jerking, as if she was a cheering spectator at a sports event. Her legs stiffened repeatedly, tangled in the covers.

I always feel so helpless, as if something has taken over my child and I can't reach her when she's all alone and dealing with something I have no control over.

After we gave her the Valium, I called 9-1-1 because it looked as if she was starting to have trouble breathing and the last time we saw that, they almost had to intubate her. Craig and I exchanged a look as I impatiently waited - ON HOLD!!! - for someone to talk to me. We had seen seizures over the past few years, but this was different. This was like the one back in 03 that left her in the ICU for a week.

The ambulance arrived and Jenna was still seizing a bit but her body had calmed down considerably. They put her on an oxygen tank, strapped her in the gurney and away we went. Good thing I had just fed Cohen, who along with Hannah, slept through it all.

At the ER, Jenna was out of it; the valium had done its job. She only fought a little when they put in her IV. About two hours later, Craig arrived with Cohen and Hannah so I could nurse. When I got back to Jenna's side, I noticed she was breathing differently. I had a strange feeling she was going to seize again. Sure enough, she did - for about a minute. The nurse stood at her side and watched her oxygen to make sure she was getting enough through the oxygen mask. Then he walked away and I was a little frustrated. I thought the Valium might be wearing off and that was why she had the seizure - which meant it was only going to get worse as they continued to occur.

She had several more before they would give her Adovan through her IV. In the meantime I warned them that Jenna would surprise them if they did not give her some medication. The last two seizures ended up being right on top of each other and the final one was much more violent than the others. I was so relieved when they finally gave her the med! I felt like screaming in the meantime!

While we were there, we discovered that Jenna had RSV, which might have diminished her strength and possibly instigated the seizures.

We went up to Pediatric Intensive Care and Craig and I traded off shifts to ensure Jenna would not flip out of her bed when she woke up. Boy do we know our girl! When she woke up, she was like a prize fighter in a wrestling ring! Delirious, unhappy and full of anxiety in addition to being miss loosie-goosie with no ability to sit unassisted - a dangerous combo!

Smile?! I don't feel like smiling...

The situation was complicated by the fact that Cohen will not take a bottle. So the most I got to sit with Jenna was three hours at a time. Craig had to stay overnight. The nurses all suited up in special suits because she had RSV and they didn't want to pass it around.

The first night Hannah, Cohen and Mommy were home alone, missing Jenna and Daddy, Hannah and Mommy worked on a card for Jenna
(Hannah got a bit carried away with the stamps!)

The blessing? We live so close to the hospital - two exits away - that we could go back and forth without too much hassle. And parking was free. We couldn't help comparing the situation to the same type of situation back home - where the hospital was an hour and a half away and the parking could run you up to five bucks a day. This was especially difficult when Cohen was in the NICU and I had to go back and forth to try to get him to nurse - oh, the irony! That's all he does now!!! :) So even though we missed having friends and family present, the short commute made things much, much easier!

Cohen and Hannah were very, very good during their MANY trips to the hospital -
looks more like 5 star accommodations, doesn't it? Oh, the deception! :)

And for you coffee lovers...

...Starbucks in the lobby!
There were a few times passing by that I wished I actually liked coffee!

And despite being a very upscale hospital, it wasn't without its problems...
Look familiar?! ;)
(if not, see earlier posts!!!)

When Jenna was released on Tuesday afternoon, we were very relieved but felt as though we had climbed a very large, very steep mountain. This was the first time we've been completely alone with Jenna in the hospital. But we handled it. I don't like watching Jenna suffer, but I know God was with us and her - she was never really alone.

Release day and a lopsided smile for the camera!
The EEG probes did WONDERS for her hair!

Recovery has taken a while. For the first two days she was back home, Jenna struggled to walk without bumping into things, stumbling in circles to get her balance and frequently falling to the floor. There was no holding her down! She's one determined little girl! But she is doing much better today. She is less anxious and much happier! YAY!

Thank you for your prayers! Jenna is going to be just fine!