Thinking Too Much

I'm having a strange day.

Craig had to go to SF, Cali, and I took all three kids to Jenna's eye appointment by myself. It went pretty well, as soon as Jenna caught sight of herself in one of the many mirrors set up around the eyewear displays. I've never met a kid more enamored with her own image before :) We got some really cute frames for her. I always enjoy picking them out. But as we were leaving, Jenna became my unpredictable little renegade and took off down the sidewalk, lost in - what else?! - her reflection in the shop windows. I finally caught her while keeping an eye on the other two, so no harm was done, except for a little frustration and breathlessness. Whew!

It's like I'm already tense before I step foot out of my house for an appointment anymore. Or maybe just thinking about going to appointment does it!? But like I said, it went well considering, so maybe I should just RELAX already!

I have so much on my mind lately, it's kinda hard to focus on any one thing. I'm starting a teacher credential program two days a week, beginning Saturday. Craig is all for it, actually the one who came up with the plan in the first place, but I am so funny - I was excited at the thought, then had mucho anxiety about clicking on the "submit" button to send over my payment, for several reasons. First and foremost, Cohen still won't take a bottle - not even of my milk. We've been trying, and like my other two very determined children, he's stubborn as can be. I've never had this problem before - Jenna and Hannah would take my milk in a bottle with no problem. I don't want him to miss me when he's hungry, but I know if he's hungry enough, he'll take the bottle... Secondly, I'm nervous about rushing into something right now with the many changes we've all gone through in the past few months, while at the same time I'm excited about meeting new people, learning some new things, and getting out of the house. Thirdly, I'm suffering premature guilt at the thought of working and wanting to get out of the house (I know I'm seriously contradicting myself here). I feel like I'm being selfish if I work when I don't absolutely have to. On the other hand, I know if I work, we can achieve our goals much more quickly, and my family will benefit in the long run. But then again, I'm well aware that no amount of money can bring back missed moments with my children.

Have I got your head spinning yet?

Another major change occurred today: we started Jenna on some anxiety medication. Honestly, I have mixed emotions about this also - surprise, surprise! :) On the one hand, I want her life to be as full as possible, filled with more happiness and more life experiences in general. But every time we go somewhere that's intended to be fun for her, she usually ends up melting down. I can't imagine living life like that... but I'm trying to; hence, the medication. I'm optimistic, but not so much so that a letdown would be a long way to fall. And as if we didn't have enough to think about, at the neurology appointment yesterday the doctor heard Jenna snorting - something she does a lot lately - and mentioned a possible vocal tick... well, let's just add something else to the list!

And to top it all off, I got a report from the Speech therapist at Jenna's school today in preparation for her annual educational evaluation/assessment meeting tomorrow and as always, I'm feeling a bit sad because of its contents. I know her limitations already, but seeing them written up in a report by someone confirming them is a hard dose of reality all over again. I'm being silly, I know, but sometimes I think I have to allow myself to let it all hit home again. I'm not sure why...

So, this post is not too uplifting. Sorry about that. Just needed to get it all out, somehow.

My friend keeps reminding me that God never said it would be easy - He only said it would be worth it! Okay. I know we're not alone. Sometimes I wonder why God entrusted us with this, but Jenna is inspiring us all to be more understanding of others, to have compassion and not be so quick to judge. You never know what personal struggles other people may be experiencing...

So it seems we can learn a lot from these kids who struggle to comprehend our world. I thank God for our blessing; Jenna helps make us whole, if that makes any sense.

Thanks for reading my ramblings.

Our Trip...Part II

When my girls realized where they were when they awoke that first morning, they were bouncing off the walls with excitement. And as soon as they saw their Grandma, they went completely nuts. Hopefully the neighbors weren't still trying to sleep :) Jenna, in particular, was very happy to have her Grandma back.

Then Papa came home from work and the noisy excitement began all over again. We also got to see Uncle Rick and Aunt Joan - whom we haven’t seen in years. Grandma G-G visited bearing gifts. My cousin stopped by with her brand new baby - he is so small and adorable. It seems like only yesterday that Cohen was that little. How quickly time flies!

The rest of the week was a whirlwind. We had so much to do and so little time… 

While Craig was at work, I took the girls to see some friends. First up, Melissa's house, where there is always an adventure. There's so much to do - and hear!!! - between her five children and my three! They might be bouncing off the walls, but at least they're having fun doin it!

Partners in crime! :)

We discovered Cohen can sleep through ANYTHING :)

Melissa was like the sister I never had growing up. We were always together when we were little. In fact, she seems to remember details about my childhood that even I don’t remember until she reminds me! If I ever write a memoir, I’ll have to go to her for some extra details…

Melissa and her youngest blue-eyed cutie

Melissa’s family has a new addition: a cute little black dog named Rocky. He’s about a foot long, so he’s very, very tiny; however, Hannah was so afraid of Rocky, he might as well have been a pit bull. I laughed, then felt bad for laughing; I couldn’t help it. It looked kinda funny, this eensie-weensie dog happily bounding and leaping around while my kid ran for cover, terrified. But then, eventually, she tried to play it off like she was not afraid of him anymore. She even crouched down, patted her knees and called him over – while he was still in the next room!! -- to show off to the other kids, like “I’m not afraid, see?” But it was really just a poorly executed cover. Her voice was too high-pitched to be normal, and she was obviously shaking like a leaf, ready to turn tail and run if this rodent-sized, happily oblivious puppy really did heed her calls and head on over.

Thank you Melissa and Debbie for the wonderful dinner, cookies and gift! You have always been a part of my family and I will never forget the endless sleepovers, chicken and mac-n-cheese dinners, Encino Man and Groundhog Day and the rewind button on the VCR- and the infectious laughter. Mouth-full, Kool-aid explosions at a dinner table laden with good food, good company, and of course, uncontrollable giggles. Not to mention years of birthday parties, church dances, dance recitals, costume tweaks, and sequins for days...

Next stop? My best friend Chriss’ to see her and her kids. It felt like we’d never left. Chriss made me a beautiful paper bag scrapbook to honor our friendship together - I absolutely LOVED IT! You could tell it took a lot of time to make, and to a mom of three/sometimes four, time is definitely precious! Chriss didn’t see my tears, but they were there, girl! Thanks for being there and for just being you.

Chriss and her beautiful, hungry Madelyn

While we were at Chriss', Hannah enjoyed playing with the new toys. She found two Care Bears that she wanted to play with – share bare and lovey bear…or something like that?! Oh, whatever! Anyways, one of the bears would not sing or talk because its batteries were dead, so she brought it to Chriss for help. Chriss told her it needed batteries and Hannah just spun around and left the room, so I figured maybe she’d moved on, which would be totally SHOCKING because what Hannah wants, Hannah better get! :) But just as Chriss was asking her husband where the screw driver was to open up the battery compartment, Hannah comes back with the screw driver in hand. “Here ya go,” she says, like, “No need to thank me, I’m THAT good!” Okay, the weird part? Chriss doesn’t remember mentioning that she needed a screw driver. And neither of us could figure out where, or even how, she got the screw driver in the first place! Guess some things just can’t be explained…

Our little princesses! Jenna, Rhianna, Hannah, Belle, and hungry Madelyn :)

Chriss' good friend Rebecca came over with her two kids, who are about the same age as Cohen and Hannah. We've all had fun scrapbooking together in the past and it was great to see her.

Later that night, Craig, Cohen and I went out to dinner with our friends while the girls happily remained at Grandma and Grandpa’s house. It was nice to have some adult time, but just as we were finishing up, our evening came to an abrupt end when one of our friends got a phone call with some devastating news that shocked us all. It really made me treasure the time I had with my family even more, because time is not promised to us, and who knows how long we’ll have together?

Friday was family day. My brother and his wife and son came over to my parent’s for a yummy turkey dinner. My Aunt Kathy stopped by to eat with us, too. It was awesome.

Uncle Greg and Grandma with Jenna-bug

Silly girls. What's so funny?

Cohen is still not amused.

The kids always love it at their grandparent's house. They danced around the living room and sang to Disney Sing-A-Long songs. They played with cars, toys and fought like only family can :)

They went for a stroll outside... then played catch me if you can with the adults.

Bbrrrr... it's cold outside!

Hannah lent cousin Cody a jacket and they held hands crossing the street.

Together, we all watched old home movies my aunt had all these years and reminisced while we laughed, but it made me think about the days when all of the cousins were together and the family dynamic was "tease or be teased." And under no circumstances must you cry when/where others can see you! We're still hearing about the "Cryin' Ninja" nearly 20 years later! I think this all started two generations before mine, with my father's father, the grandpa I never met. But then my dad and his siblings and cousins really created memories that make very, very funny stories now. Where is everyone now?!

The time spent in Cali was great, but I only wish we’d had more of it… *sigh* There were more people I was hoping to see. Oh, well. We’ll be back in the summer. It was impossible to fit it all in.

Being in Cali, on this trip, reminded me that family and friends are so very precious and I really tried to enjoy the moments we spent together. Staying in the house where I grew up, with people I love dearly, was very comforting in a time of many life changes. My family is full of love for one another, and I think there's nothing more important in life than to love and be loved by those who know you best. Those who brought you into the world. Those who remember the awkward years, the braces, bad perms, and teenage attitudes, but never stopped caring or believing in you. All of you who know me best know that miles cannot separate us. We will always find a way to be together in spirit. Or over the phone. :)

The flight back was great, except for the hour delay. Jenna slept again for most of the flight. So did Hannah – at least for part of the time. The airline showed a cute movie that helped the time fly :) and I was much more relaxed about the bumpy ride, though all in all, it was a much smoother flight. And the girls loved being up where the “birds fly and the rainbows glow.”

On the way down, the lights from the city twinkled in the darkness and Hannah began to sing “Twinkle, twinkle, little star” for everyone within hearing distance. It was very, very adorable. Jenna was also very sweet, not once asking for a movie! We were worried that she would really dislike flying, but she is so unpredictable! After a fairly rough landing, she laughed, turned to Craig and asked, "Again?!" I was so proud of my kids and how well they did on that plane!

I must say, looking back on it all, that even though the journey was difficult, and the airport a major hassle, I will never return to an airport without my family and not miss having them there with me. That’s the beauty of family. Yeah, it’s tough, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. I love them. They’re everything to me.

God Bless you all...

Our Trip...Part 1

Our trip to California was very eventful. It was so nice to see everyone again. We've missed our family and friends very much. That has been the only downfall to this move and it's taking some adjustment. I'm already looking forward to returning in the summer!

We spent the night at family's house in Houston before leaving for the airport. 

We had to park miles away from the airport and catch a parking shuttle. Let me tell you, this was very fun with three small children, two strollers, one car seat, three humongous bags, two back packs and one carry on! It was already dark outside and getting cold, but the kids did very well on the shuttle. Hannah even slept, despite the herky-jerky ride. When we got off the shuttle, we had to pop up the strollers, strap in the kids and find a way to handle all of the luggage across two sets of lanes to the outdoor baggage check. Once we got the three large bags checked, it seemed like smooth sailing...until security check! 

To get to security, we had to get on an indoor shuttle, which took us to the appropriate elevator, which took us up to security. From there, complete chaos ensued for about ten minutes or so. Needless to say, we held up the line as we removed all of our shoes, jackets, two laptops, dvd player, collapsed down the two strollers, removed baby from car seat and RAN IT ALL THROUGH THE CONVEYER. Not to mention getting the girls to walk through the metal detector one at a time and STAY WITH ME as I held the baby and Craig tried to nab our stuff off the belt and pop the strollers back up - we needed Jenna securely fastened somewhere, somehow! :) She did not like the security check!!

We waited for an hour to board the plane, watching Little Mermaid II on the dvd player while we sat and ate dinner.

Thank goodness for portable dvd players!
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This is when I started to get nervous, but before I knew it, we were walking down the hallway thing (what are those called anyways?), collapsing strollers and carrying baby/ herding kids onto the plane. I must say, our kids were as close to angels as they could have been on that flight. Whew! Jenna slept the ENTIRE three hours - until we raised her seat back on descent. Cohen nursed periodically and slept in between feedings. Hannah watched Dora on the dvd player after take off (during take off I had to make up some creative princess stories and tell them with a smile while I gripped the arms of my seat and trembled – yes, trembled – as we lifted into the air). Craig has flown a lot and said this was one of the most consistently bumpy flights he’s ever been on – figures! Believe me, I felt very weird when the pilot requested everyone remain in their seats with their seat belts on as I held my infant son in my arms! Next flight – if ever! – I will be getting him his own seat. The irony? We thought if there was an empty seat, we could carry on his car seat and use it, but they made us check it at the gate and one of the only empty seats on the plane - not only on the way there but on the way back, too - was right next to my husband!!! Geez… So I said a few prayers as we bounced about and felt much, much better. I was being silly; we would be just fine. Finally, my knee stopped bouncing up and down like crazy.

At Oakland, we landed safely :) and caught yet another shuttle to the rental car place. Getting to the shuttle was an adventure. We had to walk across two sets of lanes, down a path through a very dark, very eerie construction zone and into a parking lot where the shuttle stop was.

We were a bit concerned; it was very dark and very late. In Oakland.

The shuttle showed up about 10 minutes later and we were off to the rental car place.

Craig was relieved to have made it so far... tired, but relieved...

When we got to the rental car place, they did not have Jenna and Hannah’s rental car seats on the reservation that Craig’s company’s travel agency made for us. And get this: they would not take our debit card because it was not the original card used to make the reservation, and they would not take cash because it was too late. So tweedle-dee and tweedle-dumb behind the counter recommended a Wal-Mart down the street.

It was 1:30 in the morning.

My kids were all awake and cranky.

How were we supposed to get to Wal-Mart without car seats?!!! Was Craig supposed to leave us there, alone? Thank goodness Craig remembered that he had printed out a copy of the reservation listing two car seat rentals. And low and behold! Another reservation under Craig’s name magically appeared - with the car seats on it.

1:30am - rental car place. Jenna is trying to escape her stroller and Hannah is just a tad bit grumpy! And you can't see Cohen, but you would have heard him! :)

Finally, we loaded into the car and drove to the nearest, safest looking, very well lit gas station :) to nurse hungry Cohen and change the girls. Then we began the two hour drive to my parent’s house.

At 3:30am (5:30 our time!) we arrived exhausted, feeling like we’d taken a trip around the world. We climbed into our beds, hunkered down beneath the warm covers and got a few blissful hours of sleep…until Jenna woke us up with the sunrise.

We're Back!

We made it back...barely! It seems we left at the right time. Well, almost. Our flight back to Houston was delayed due to weather, but at least we only left an hour behind schedule - could have been much worse. While we were at the airport waiting for our flight, we kept hearing news of impending bad weather in Texas, but when we arrived in Houston at 7pm, things didn't look all that bad. It was only when we started driving home that we realized what all the fuss was about. We slipped and slid our way down I10, driving about 35-45 miles per hour. Along the way, we saw several aftermaths of accidents due to ice that left people stranded on the side of the road. We debated stopping, but decided to press on because we figured the weather would only get worse. As long as we drove very, very slowly - basically crawling down the lane - we were okay. Which is why we finally, FINALLY pulled into our driveway at 2am!!! Whew!


After our journey home, our car was completely coated with ice. Later that day sleet pelted the area, leaving an icy footprint everywhere you looked. Roads were closed. School was canceled.



The next day, everything appeared gray and dismal. It was so cold outside, the ice wasn't melting, and once again, school was canceled for the day.

Many trees couldn't withstand the weight of the ice. This one's in our front yard...

And icicles hung from nearly every surface...

Today, ice remains, but temperatures are climbing and our trees are raining big, cold tears as the ice melts.
To some, this is normal winter weather, but to this weather wimp from the Golden State, it's been really, really cold outside! Can't wait for our corner of the world to thaw...
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Stay tuned for more on our trip to California. I began at the end, but I'll go back to the beginning.

Fear of Flying

So in only 7 1/2 hours, my entire family will be in a plane flying for 4 hours to California. And while outwardly I must act as though it's exciting to fly in an airplane (for the kids), I'm actually terrified. It's a common irrational fear, I know, but still... I really have to put my trust in the folks up front - people I've never met. Did I mention I cringe at every bit of turbulence? I just hope that my kids do okay, cuz that would make it even more difficult. At least on the way over we have the expectation of seeing Grandma and Grandpa, family and friends. The flight home certainly won't have the same appeal. I will let you know how it goes.

Pray for us! :)

And for those of you who are frequent flyers, go easy on those of us who still grab the arms of our seats and tense up at every perceptible movement of the plane!

I will try my best to relax - my promise to myself. Maybe I saw one too many plane crashing movies for my own good... Darn Hollywood!

Too Cute!

I wasn't planning on posting today, but I had to. I have a cute story to tell that only the creativity of a child could invent...

Jenna went back to school today. The bus arrived at our driveway at 6:45, and I was a little nervous. I wasn't sure how she'd react considering she's been out of school for a week (is that all?!). I needn't have worried. She did very well. She sat in her seat with no fuss and was ready to go.
*

While Jenna was at school, Hannah, Cohen and I hung out together and Craig worked in his office. Hannah and I colored and put together puzzles. Cohen smiled and cooed like crazy.
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Despite all the GREAT FUN we were having, Hannah was super-excited when Jenna arrived home from school. She met her at the door with a great big hug, saying, "I love you, Jenna!" Jenna even hugged her back before heading in to get a drink and watch a movie, like a girl on a mission (so what else is new?!)

Jenna usually brings home a daily folder; today, the folder contained Christmas art left at school over vacation (maybe because we left the party quickly -- see my first post!!). Hannah took one look at the cut-out of Santa Claus coming out of a chimney and got really excited. I explained that Jenna made it. She grabbed it and took it over to Jenna, exclaiming, "Jenna, look! Look, Jenna! Jenna, you made this! It's YOUR kitta-cause" As if she didn't know...

*

Hannah was just so darn proud of what her sister had made. It was very cute.

Problem was, Jenna was paying too much attention to her movie and not enough attention to Hannah. Not for lack of trying - when Hannah realized Santa wasn't cuttin' it, she looked over at the table where the crayons and puzzles were and you could just see her wheels a-turnin'. Like a model from the Price is Right, she turned to Jenna, presented the table to her and said, "Look, Jenna, a surprise for you!" I couldn't help laughing. Still, Jenna continued to ignore her and I felt bad. So I came up with an idea.

*I grabbed the camera and told Jenna we were going to take a picture of her with her brilliant Santa art. I turned off the TV and led her away from it to the other room. She was surprisingly cooperative, even yelling "Cheese!" as I tried to get a decent picture - despite my camera's loooonnnnggg delay. Hannah got a kick out of being my right hand man, reminding Jenna (over and over and over again!!) to "Smile!" for the camera.

*

Here's what we got:

This is her idea of showing me what she's got in her hand.

Can you tell what it is? 

But she makes up for it with her beautiful smile in the next one...

Still can't see it, though! :)

Later, camera-happy, I took another picture of Jenna bouncing on a therapy ball and noticed Hannah carefully, carefully pulling her chair up to the TV.

*

You won't believe what else I saw.

The chair wasn't for her; our creative little Hannah had given up her seat to a new friend.

Jenna looks a bit confused, though... hehe :)

*

And I finally got a decent picture of Santa!

*

*

Kids! I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried!

Getting Settled

So how do we like it here in Texas? Well, so far, we like it a lot. I've been asked to post pictures of the house, so here are a few.

So welcome to our home. This is what you'd see when you come on in. I love the entry.

And here's the kitchen...



But we've come upon some unexpected issues here.

First of all, we have really high ceilings in some areas of the house, so I'm not sure what we'll do when it comes time to replace a light bulb. Or remove unwanted stuff from way up there...
Yeah, that's right. A balloon. Craig and I placed bets on when we thought it would finally come down. In the meantime, Strawberry Shortcake has a bird's eye view...



...because if you know Craig like I do, then you know why we don't have a really tall ladder around the house :) Love ya, honey!

And we're probably one of the few crazy people on this planet who don't actually sleep in the master bedroom suite, but our guests enjoyed it over Christmas. We even bought curtains to make their stay more comfortable. Can you guess which one does not belong?

:) Oops.

At least the window's covered for now!

So we're all getting comfortable here. We even spent New Year's cuddled up before the fire as we watched the ball drop. Very nice.

And one of the best parts about being here? Craig and I can both keep doing the work we did previously. He works from home, and I just contacted my past editors and received a new assignment for next month. I know, I'm crazy. As if I need more work! :)

Jenna goes back to school tomorrow. I think she's looking forward to it. Truthfully, so am I :) I'll miss having her around, but it's a little easier with two during the day instead of all three. Especially with challenging Miss Hannah, our resident two year old, who was so tired and cranky all day but refused to take a nap! Boy, what I would have given to be able to take one... ;)

She finally gave in and konked...

...when everyone stopped telling her to! :)

So I moved her to a more comfortable location.

Aaahhh... sleep at last!

Well, time to wrap it up for now. Cohen's starting to stir now.