Growing Together

Today was the annual Lil Cooks Cafe at Jenna's middle school special education classroom.  The students work to create a restaurant environment: covering tables with paper, creating floral centerpieces, and waiting on their customers.  They did an amazing job and I loved being there.  My daughter, on the other hand, wasn't really feeling it...

Smile!No?

But you know what?  That's okay. 

Sure, there was a time when I would attend special functions and sadness would creep in and make me feel all emotional.  Ugh.  Sometimes that may still happen -- a little.  But if there is one thing I've learned over the years, it is that often, the best opportunities for making connections are the simple ones.  Like last night, at bedtime, when I tucked her in and she asked, "hug me?" so I did.  Then I gave her a kiss on the temple and she giggled hysterically, the joy coming from somewhere deep in her stomach, like someone on a roller coaster ride.  And then, "Again?" and again and again and again... :)  Moments like these are amazing.  And treasured.  Jenna is in her comfort zone, at home, with people she knows love her and take care of her. 

Then there are those times when she is not comfortable.  Moments like birthday parties, or restaurants, or amusement parks.  Or moments when a bunch of adults (mom included) show up at school for lunch.  We are not supposed to be there.  We don't belong in her classroom. We are overwhelming. 

Shortly after I took this picture, Jenna retreated into a small room, shut the door, turned off the light, and curled up to sleep -- no, not sad; actually, this is really awesome.  Just last year, Jenna would completely melt down with anxiety. She would bite her hand, scream, cry, and lash out.  On days when we were trying to do something special (out of the ordinary!) she was completely miserable. When this happened, I couldn't reach her.  No one could.  But these episodes are dwindling.  She is using more words. She is maturing, finding ways to cope, to help herself when no one else seems to be able to.  When the world gets too overwhelming, she is learning how to drown it out, how to find peace in that busy, busy brain of hers. And this makes me happy, not sad!  This afternoon was not about me.  It was about her.  It was about being proud of our kids and what they are accomplishing.  And I am so proud of her. She may not have been taking my order, or serving me food, but she most certainly was accomplishing something!  And who knows what the future holds? 

I do my best to understand my kids.  I may not be perfect, but as they continue to grow, so do I.