To the Bogeyman: BOO!

I had a very bad dream this morning. It had to do with Cohen and it scared the living daylights out of me. I can't shake the mood it put me in - I wish I could snap out of it already. I've had a similar thing happen before when I dreamed about Jenna. Why do fears always pop up when you're asleep and can't fend them off?

I've been okay up until now. Searching for answers has kept us busy and the severity of this stuff hasn't really sunk in. Until now, maybe.

It seems Cohen can no longer maintain his own neutrophil levels. The hematologist has been monitoring the patterns and Cohen's bone marrow responds to the Neupogen shots for maybe 48 hours or so and then his neutrophils slowly wane until he is right back to being Neutropenic.

When we went in yesterday, the first thing the doctor said was, "So we avoided admittance? Good, good..." There is no doubt in my mind (and apparently in the docs, too) that the hospital is exactly where Cohen was headed until we gave him the Neupogen injection last Wed., which avoided yet another admittance and excruciating IV meds that make him vomit by the third or fourth day.

Then the doc said "please don't tell me he's had fever..." Apparently, fever indicates something very bad because illness obviously does not mean the same thing for our little guy as it does for the rest of our family. Great, now I'm checking his forehead for the slightest indication...

Finally, we checked his levels, which indicated that his neutrophils were on their way down again since the injection last Wed. So now we are on a maintenance plan; every week he gets the stick. Even better, every week I get to give it to him. Now I know there are people out there who do this all the time with their children - for whatever health reason - and it doesn't really bother me too much. What is agonizing, however, is that we are now waiting until we see the Genetic Specialist again on July 1 to do the bone marrow biopsy, which is definitely happening now, and for obvious reasons. We're trying to move that appointment up.

To be honest, I'm scared. My dream didn't help matters. I just love him so much, and sometimes, when I look at him and he flashes his sweet smile, I feel like something is breaking deep inside me. Oops, I'm getting too emotional... moving on...

Good news: I've learned a new skill that should save us some money - I'm now a beautician. That's right. Hannah wanted her hair cut. "It's too long," she said. "Are you sure?" I'd been thinking the same thing- she was now actually able to sit on it.

"Yes, mommy, will you cut it for me?"

So guess what? I did.

And I think it came out pretty good myself.

This is Hannah's idea of acting natural. She's ready for the beach this summer with what she calls her "Beach Hat." Of course, you can't see that much of my haircut, but trust me, I did a great job ;)

Another customer of mine who's due for his next trim, although Daddy thought he'd have some fun and try a new hairstyle...

Punk Baby.

A closeup of the faux hawk:

A few more pictures:
Cohen is really enjoying his baths lately. We discovered he likes them best in the sink. I love his goofy smile...

Hannah "reads" to her pupils, her babies...
...and has even begun to teach them about Time Outs (Wonder where she gets that from? She sounds suspiciously similar to another mommy in the house)
A makeshift clubhouse - girls only:

And finally - a package at the door! YAY for presents. This one's from Grandma and Papa and happened to come in the middle of some serious lipgloss application... purple is the new pink if you didn't know... :) Goes great with red hair.


And no, that is not a crooked haircut - her head is leaning. I really did do a good job. Really. :)
I guess I don't have much funny in me today, so the comments are fallin' a bit flat. Oh, well. At least you had pictures to go along with it!

Hope you are all doing well. I sure miss my friends and family right now.