An Easter Apart...

As I sit here, Hannah is eating way too much candy for her own good and Jenna is so excited because she knows there's something special about today (umm, maybe because we're acting like over-animated fools to convey that to her) and she is dancing around the living room talking to herself in an endearingly LOUD voice.


I had planned on going to church to remember the reason for today, but plans have a way of changing.


Yesterday started off wonderfully. I took Hannah to dance only to remember that dance was not happening this weekend - DUH! - but I had to drive up to the studio to see the big notice taped in the door to remember and then I chastised myself for being a total space cadet (there was another car doing the same drive up/drive off thing, so at least I wasn't the only one). Thank goodness I had the enticement of a birthday party to distract Hannah.  It was at a farm nearby where they host events - one of Hannah's dance friends was turning three. Given Hannah's irrational fear of small animals, I thought going to a farm might not go over so well. I needn't have worried. She rode the pony - twice! - and laughed. We even went into the goat pen together and she was loving it until one of the goats got testy and head-butted her in the tummy when she got near, knocking her on her butt and totally freaking her out.


There's something I've noticed about parties here in San Antonio: every party has to have a pinata. One of the other parties hung up a monstrous contraption boasting Big Bird and Elmo and Cookie Monster (I think) in a hot air balloon, and the attendees gathered in front for a picture. I heard someone from our party calling Hannah's name and I turned around. Hannah was standing in line with the kids in the front row, smiling brightly for the camera, the only blonde kid in a group of hispanic guests. They didn't even try to get her out of the picture. My kid is brilliant; that pinata must have had a couple of gallons of candy in it.

We joked that someday maybe Hannah would become famous and whoever has that picture will try to sell it on ebay, saying I knew her when...

:)

Certainly she has no qualms about being in the limelight, although she looked disdainful and slightly embarrassed when I told her to leave the party and wait for the pinata that would come from the party she was actually there to attend. "Mom, it's okay, mom," she muttered with a frown as she sulked past me.

I should back up here and say that Cohen has not been feeling well. He was running a fever of 102 for about three days and I had just gotten over the flu so I assumed that he might have caught it, too. Yesterday, he was fever free but definitely not better. He would barely walk anymore and he wanted to be held alot and the screaming banchee returned to his throat. Then we noticed little blisters at the base of his pointer finger. We thought maybe he had gotten another staph infection under the skin, or maybe the cold sore virus...again.

I wasn't going to mess around. He was hobbling pretty severely by yesterday afternoon, limping on his left leg and his left eyelid seemed to droop. Off to the ER.

They swabbed his nose to check for the flu. Negative. They lanced and swabbed a blister - we'll have the results tomorrow. Most importantly, they drew blood. The ER doc mentioned that his blood indicated a struggle of some sort. We waited until 1:30 in the morning to go upstairs to a room, where Cohen still remains with his daddy, whom I am about to go relieve. The nurse who asks a whole boat-load of questions upon admittance tells me he is neutropenic - which means his white blood cell count is, according to the doctor this morning "exceptionally low." It seems his blood is indicating, somehow, that not only is he fighting something viral, but something bacterial as well. The nurses cannot enter his room without mask and gown, there is a warning on his door stating he is neutropenic and no one is admitted prior to speaking with the nursing staff, he cannot have fresh flowers in his room or have his temp taken rectally or if he was eating, he could not eat fresh fruit, all because his immune system is compromised. They will draw blood every morning until they see improvement, but this morning's draw did not show any improvement. I worry for him but I know he is in the right place. If I look at the bright side, I guess I could say at least he gets a private room - it could be worse, right?

These infections are not normal. The doctors are beginning to make statements about an immune system problem but I thought we'd already ruled that out. I'm so confused.

On the way home last night, or rather this morning, I stopped off at Wal-Mart and picked up some last minute goodies, some eggs and egg dye, so the Easter Bunny stopped by after all, though I'm still bummed about missing church - but at this point, I don't know where I should even take Cohen anymore and if crowds of people pose a health risk. We just finished dying the eggs and now I get to trade places with Craig so he can orchestrate the hunt with the girls. That way, at least both of us get to participate with them even if it's one at a time. I am so thankful my Aunt is staying with us. Things would be so much harder without her.

I scheduled a flight to Cali before all of this went down because I want to be there for family members who are going through a heartbreaking experience at the moment and now I'm not sure when Cohen will be released and if I'll even be able to go. My son needs his mommy here, and my heart agrees. I can reschedule, though it'll cost me 50 bucks, in addition to the $500 hospital bill I know will come in the mail a few weeks after Cohen is released. A nurse at the desk saw me when I went to leave and asked how I was doing. She must have remembered Cohen's 19 day stint in October because she said hopefully he won't be here as long as that other time. I am praying like crazy, cuz I just might have to jump off a very high building - maybe the top floor of the parking garage? - if he stays as long as that (Don't call the shrinks - I'm just kidding...I think!)

On the way out of Wal-Mart my headlights swung on a family of deer across the street. How beautiful they were in the midst of a sleepless city. I almost cried at the sight of them there, together like they should be.

When is all of this going to end? I am so melodramatic today, sorry. I hope you have (or had, probably) a wonderful Easter. God Bless!